My Grandpop

My Grandpa Eugene Alston (my dad's stepfather aka Pop-Pop) is an amazing man. While Gena was attending Edwina's funeral she captured some experiences and thoughts with him. This post is dedicated to him from her Facebook posts about her time with him:

• Quote of the day award: Grandpa Gene. I'm at his home in Philly and we are saying goodnight at the bedroom doors:

"Gena, I like to have a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee for breakfast before church. You are welcome to some if you'd like."
What kind of cereal does an 87 year old man who can do push ups eat? Wheaties? Grape nuts? Something generic? I can't even remember the last time I ate cold cereal for breakfast. But a memory pops into my head and I say:
"You know, when I was a child I looked forward to coming here because I knew I could always find a box of Frosted Flakes in the cabinet and my mom would NEVER buy us that cereal."
Grandpop: "I HAVE A BOX DOWNSTAIRS NOW!"

• Lessons from my Grandpop: "I mow my own lawn, I trim my own hedges and tend my garden. I see my neighbor go to the gym everyday and his yard looks like the devil done got it. He pays to go to the gym when he could exercise right there in the yard for free AND have a nice yard."

• Lessons from my Grandpop: This morning at 6:30 he invites me down for breakfast. There on the table is a banana, an empty bowl, a spoon and a box of Frosted Flakes. I fix my Isagenix shake and decide that the cereal I can eat as a dessert. In his bowl is a mix of FF, Wheaties and Cheerios. He blesses the food (he thanks the Lord for blessing us to wake up in our right minds with reasonable health). I decide to mix some Wheaties with the FF to soften the sugar blow since I've drastically reduced my sugar intake. Says I, "I haven't had Frosted Flakes in years. Oh, I think I got too much cereal." Says he, "Why not?" Says I, "Too much sugar. I don't buy it." Says he, "Eat it. Everybody needs some sugar. All things in moderation, Gena.

• Lessons learned from Grandpop: I had a nap, listened to a devotional and Grandpop is scooping up dinner, softly humming.

Me:"It's nice to enjoy some peace and quiet."
Grandpop:"Yep! I love it, I love it, I love it!"
Me (laughing): "And here we all are worrying if you're lonely living by yourself!"
Grandpop:"Nope. I love it!"

• He folds his towels a certain way. Lengthwise twice into the middle, then in thirds from end to end. Slow and deliberately he moved.

• The phone rang all late afternoon and into the evening. Children, grandchildren, cousins and church folks. He said it's like this every Sunday. He enjoys it, but he gets tired of talking eventually. My favorite call was from an elderly cousin of his. This is kind of how it went:

"Hello? Hey, how you doin? Uh huh. Yeah. The services were wonderful. Uh huh. Okay. Okay. What...Whats's that? Okay, okay bye bye!"
He turns to me after this 3-5 minute conversation and says, "That was my cousin. Whenever he calls he suddenly remembers something he has to do and he interrupts himself and says, 'oh, I have to go for just a minute, I'll call you RIGHT BACK!' And then he doesn't call again for days."
Me:"Every time?"
Grandpop: "EVERY time."
Me: "Does he remember that he forgot you?"
Grandpop: "I don't think so. We just start over."
We laugh.

• Grandpop: Gena, you want some cake?

Me: Maybe a very small piece. Who made it?
GP: Me.
Me: Yeah, right. Did Enolia make it? (Enolia is his sister. Famous in the family for her cakes).
GP: (frowns) No, Enolia doesn't make many cakes anymore.
Me: Oh. So you bought one.
GP: Girl, once you taste it, you'll know it's homemade.
Me: You really made it? I'm impressed, look at this.
(We cut a piece and I take a bite.)
Me: This IS homemade. Wow, grandpop, I'm impressed.
Without looking up he loads a bite on his fork, smiles and says: Good. I'm gonna let Mamie know. She made the cake.
😂😂😂😂 he laughs.
(Mamie is his niece).

• Lessons learned from Grandpop: What messages do you surround yourself with? Think about it. In your cave, your refuge what do you reinforce in yourself and your children with your eyes? We influence ourselves, our children and visitors with our walls and surfaces, even with the lack of anything on the walls. What's on your walls? Can you tell what Grandmom and Grandpop value?

• Lessons learned from Grandpop: My parents taught me, but I never was a consistent bed maker. But I try really hard whenever I'm here because it's just what they do. It would be disrespectful not to. This photo is the guest bed. "Your grandmother and I got up and made our bed TOGETHER every morning. Because it's time to get UP. I'm not gon' get back in the bed until it's time to go to bed." He said the other day.

• "I never leave my house with dirty dishes in the sink." Grandpop said, yesterday.

• Me: Pop pop, do you like fruitcake? 

GP: (low and slow) No.
Me: then why is there one in your fridge?
GP: Somebody gave it to me.
Me: Are you hoping it will just disappear one day?
GP: I just give it away. Matter of fact I had just given one away right before a neighbor showed up with this one. I'll just give it to the food bank down at the Church. Some people show up there just wanting SOMETHING.

• His father was determined to be self sufficient and taught them to not need anything from the white man. They didn't. They owned 125 acres in North Carolina. On 8-10 of them they grew tobacco. The government limited how much they could grow. No more than 10. Yes, they sent inspectors, and if you were even 1 row over, they made you cut it down in front of them. 2. 25 acres went to cotton. They harvested both the tobacco and cotton themselves. Tobacco July-Sept and cotton Aug-Sept. The machines weren't around. The cotton and tobacco were the best money makers. They sold at local markets where out of state buyers would come. The other acres were divided up with corn, soybeans and such. Some acres were used for pasture. They raised hogs and cows. There were lots of chickens with a big chicken coop.

Most dreaded harvest? Tobacco. It was gummy and got all over your hands and everything you touched. Most dreaded chore? Feeding the hogs. The water was the old dishwater and everything else yucky. There weren't very many leftover scraps of food from the table. The buckets were heavy and could slosh on his legs. He hated that.

They still had no running water when he left home in 1947. They did have a well on their property and several springs. The springs were a big treat because the water was always cold, even in the summer time. For a treat, they would take a couple buckets from milking the cows in the morning and carry them to a spring. Then they set the buckets into the spring. The cold water chilled the milk. By afternoon, they could have a cold glass of milk.

They called the milk with cream and all, "sweet milk." They made their own butter. Most everything they ate they grew or made. His mom would occasionally bake cakes and his favorite was coconut. Coconuts were found in the stores in the winter.

Speaking of winter, they waited until a very cold winter day to butcher a hog. That way the meat didn't spoil. They cleaned it and salted it and stored in successfully in the meat house all year, thanks to the salt.

 There weren't any fat people around. "We was on a diet with work. We could eat anything we want!" He was taller than his father and mother.

Until he was about 12, his job was often to help his mother, since they had no girls yet (he is child #4), he chopped and brought in wood for her, fetched her water, gardened with her, whatever she needed, he was her right hand man. He enjoyed it and felt very close to her.

Each person in the family had a horse or mule that was theirs. They were responsible for it. One was named, Mary. Mary had to be closely watched because she took off whenever she darn well pleased. If you had both reigns, you could hang on to her. Otherwise you had to chase her down. She would run off with the plow hooked up to her or anything. They needed her for work, but he never trusted Mary.

• His favorite president is Pres. Obama. This is a letter he received from the White House acknowledging his 87th birthday. He is so pleased to have received this. He said he feels this man has done more for the poor than anyone else (no comments if you disagree. Don't disrespect my grandfather, please or I will delete you.) He says this president is the "working man's" president.

• Of course someone called while were talking. Of course, he took the call. Somewhere in the conversation he shares that his oldest granddaughter is here. He turns and asks, "Gena, how old are you?""43,""She's 43, same age as me." 😂😂
• What do you get when you mix one of these with khaki pants, a button down-collared shirt and toothpicks? My Grandpop.

• I just got push-up lessons. See, one of his secrets is that he does 25 push-ups a day. I almost went to bed without asking to watch. I struggled through 2 and quit. He told me to use my feet to help me push up. I was like, huh? But I'll be doggoned it helped! There will be no photos of this sacred ritual.

How much has racism really changed in your lifetime?
A. It's a great change. You have to have lived through it to understand how it's changed. We have moved a long way.

Where did you get your work ethic?
A. My father. He worked hard all day on the farm. He went and visited the sick peoples in our community. He helped out down at the church. He was always helping peoples. That's where I learned it. Watching my father.


Oh, and he piped up, "Oh, yes, I ate many molasses cookies. We made our own molasses." I asked how. He said they grew sugar cane, built a contraption that they hooked the mules up to and walked them in a circle. They fed the cane into the contraption in the middle and it smashed the juice out. Then they boiled the juice into molasses.

• Lessons learned from Grandpop, random quotes of the day:

"We need good relations with our family."

"We wanna push people aside, even our family, and go to the people we think have power. That's a mistake."

"Be honest, truthful and do God's will."

"When you do God's work He takes care of you, see."

"God's plan is that this nation will be great."

"Ask your friends who is trying to hook me up with they grandma's do they have any money? LOL"

"Anybody do the first mile, see. But when you go the SECOND mile, THAT's when God begins to bless you."

"You can't beat mercy. When our friends show us mercy, that's God letting us know He is present in our lives."

"Gena, I hear YOU can find ANYTHING you need on Facebook from your friends. That's what the family say!"

"I might be wrong. But that's what I think."

"Go by the Serenity Prayer. You knows what that is?" (We quoted it together).

"There are certain things you select your friends by,"

"Money is a lot, but it can't buy love. Money fades."

• This man went to Korea to war. His mother made him fried chicken and packed as much food as she could with him because he would ride on the back of the bus from North Carolina to California. He was denied entry at restaurants and bathrooms along the way. (Thus all the food). On the journey some white companions tried to stick up for him at these places and demand service, but he "didn't want no trouble."

He was a communications specialist of the 153rd artillery, an all-black outfit. Said he, "Them boys was bad! They had guns that could shoot 20 miles, and they were so precise, they could shoot something right out a man's pocket!"

His was a critical position. He ensured accurate and immediate comms between headquarters and the front line. He had to repair cut lines in the dark sometimes under fire. His sergeant told him on day 1 of the enemy, "If they can stop you, they can stop this Army!"

Despite the atrocities of war, he maintained his faith. He returned home without so much as a scratch. I credit this to the prayers of his mother who had already lost a 17 year old son to a car accident.

On his return trip to NC he crossed paths with his brother at a parade on HIS way to the war. After a brief discussion and brotherly advice, they parted. His brother would become a POW and also return home in one piece.

The love of his life. "We had 55 wonderful years and 20 days together."

• Lessons learned from Grandpop: "I always concentrate on how I can make my country great and I thought I could leave a great family."